When Dealing With A Liar

Upon reading an interesting article titled “Why Men Lie? The Short and Long Of It”, a few things came to mind. The article suggests that men lie because they’re not men, they’re children. They have motives that don’t belong in reality, and the truth doesn’t fit with the games they are playing develop alternate truths (which they probably even believe). This is indeed very similar to the actions of a child.

First-off, I’m going to change “men” to “people”, because I truly don’t believe this principle applies solely to men.

Secondly, I agree with this idea. Toddlers are always altering their perception of reality based on what they deem acceptable, regardless if it fits or not. The difference is, toddlers will (hopefully) learn from this, and grow up.

When dealing with an adult who cannot accept reality to the extent of lying to another adult, we are dealing with a serious issue.

I was a major liar as a kid, and young adult. Had the jingle “liar liar, pants on fire” been a legitimate thing, my pants would have constantly been ablaze.

In my adolescence, I found that if I were convincing enough, I could get away with almost anything. I lied to my parents about everything, even down to an unnecessary level, in order to tailor what reality looked like in my world. It became a dangerous game, and honestly it was a really hard charade to keep up with.

The reason for all my lying, was that I had something to hide. My parents were undoubtedly fearful of my reckless, care-free actions as a party-girl, and not only did I want to continue down the road I was heading, I wanted to do so without the worry of my parents. Hence came the lying, the customizing of reality to fit the lifestyle I was okay with them seeing.
Now, I was a teenager, which is really just a toddler with experience (wise words of my Aunt). But it took me a lot of hardship, pain, and loneliness to realize that lying to the people you love, and that love you, is never worth it.
I finally learned that if I’m feeling the need to lie to these people who obviously only have the best intentions for me and want me to be happy, then there is obviously something wrong with whatever it is that I’m doing. I shouldn’t be doing it, plain and simple.

This notion, and the fact that I was utterly alone forced me to grow up, and in the world of adulthood, there is no room for untruths. It’s too messy, too hurtful, full of self-sabotage and it will leave you alone in the dark. Real adults own their actions, even if there is a person who will not be very happy about them.

If someone in your life is lying to you, it might be time to realize that they are acting in a detrimental fashion. They are likely doing something to hurt themselves, or something that will hurt you in the end. Unfortunately, (most of the time) for liars, what makes them see the light is realizing they pushed everyone away with their lies.
But, growing up is possible for a liar, and likely will happen after they push enough of their loved ones away.

References
Why Do Men Lie? The Short and Long of It – Thor’s Hearth. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://thorshearth.com/why-do-men-lie/

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